I was born in a small town in Bulgaria, in a time of communism and enslaved minds on the 08.10.1983.
In my childhood at first i was suffering from deep maniacal depression and complexes
that could not be explained with some particular reason. I hated to go out with children
like myself and was a suffering from greed for knowledge. People used to call me
the "questioner". Cause most of the time i was asking a questions. All i've do at this
age wasn't enough for me, I'd strongly disliked girls and was shaming from the whole
big unknown world. I was sick most of the time and they used to "fix" meself with various
drugs. This was most of the cases since i become a 7 years old boy and got some friends,
that happened when i was with my grandma in our local town village.
This was the time i was becoming to express my feelings at last
Neither that i was still feeling the whole world was staring
at me and laughing at my mindles brain that was making me sick and there were two sides at
me the one that wanna go out with friends play football play hiding games and all the
childish usual stuff the other one was dark, depressed falled deeper in me
disliking and ignoring all the stuff humanity would admire. I started going to school
when i was 7 years old. The little friendship i've developed turned to a human hatretism again.
Then one day we were out with my grandma and i've saw a people playing some strange
machinary games maniacally clicking shooting having fun. I got interested in that.
It was just a game but it was so real and fun and private ... At first it was just
a passion then it become my religion. It was so selfinvolved to kill this and that to get
better and humans have nothing to do with it . After a few months i get addicted.
I was spending all my time on those electronic games. Getting better and better conquering
a new universes. Universes in which i was a hero. The more addicted i've become
the less i thought about my school stuff and the more i've played and played and played ...
It was then the time in which my parents does discover my maniacal addiction and since
all that was useless stuff. They stopped giving me money. Started treating me bad etc.
As i didn't have finances to play i was to the bottom so i stall a few times a little
money from them. (Good heavens they didn't discover that.)
So i can play. The addiction continued ... the bad feelings inside me
still were there but was sleeping deeper as my mania does satisfies meself for that kind
of moment. I have some exams and went to a Mathematical Gym. This was in my 5th grade.
It was a hard years, the study there was much more compared to the simple school i was before.
All i do was play.. In my class there were a few people who were a little
different from others talking about computers. Computers does sound fun cause it was a rare
thing at that time and the thing i've played some computer games
since times on a 8 bit machine, the idea i can have games at home similar to the big
machines with coins sounded blizzard to me. There was and something another
i was seeking for a concurent worlds to those we live in because it was boring
and we people going to school, working doing whatever it is were just enslaved by
a reality i didn't like, reality was creepy, simple, all that scared me.
The Admiration of the undefined stuff does make me develop interests to computers.
One of my friends have a machine and it was even faster for that time it was a i386 box.
This happens at summer time of year 1996 the machine was SX on 40 mhz with black & white vga.
It have so great games i was passioned. I've spent days with him playing
on that fun thing called computer.
We played games like Double Dragon, Tie Fighter, Risky the wood, Street Fighter.
I dind't have a computer then and don't have much opportunities to get a good machine
the machines then were expensive like hell and my parents had a pretty
old fashioned minds. After a few months pleasing and begging at my parents
to pick me up a computer. At last they've took me one. It was a slow old XT 8086 machine
with a CGA monitor and a 21mbytes disk storage. I though this machine would be enough
to play the games we've played on my friend's computer but the truth was not.
the machine was slow the monitor support from the new games was lacking completely ...
Although that there were some games that does worked for me most of the games didn't.
Then i started learning
DOS ( Disk Operating System ). There was no other way to have my games up and running
i needed a way to copy them from my 360kb 5.25 inch diskettes to the hard drive to manage
them run them and look over the whole place called a file system.
I was learning faster all i need was understand that things so i can play.
Actually i find out that it was fun to play with DOS the machine was "moving".
and it was great. My friends involved into computers were moving either we often shared a
knowledge we gained alone or by experiments at our homes, that was fun either.
The guy that has a 386 box was already into programming and knew most of the conceptions
of DOS. So he explained to us some interesting stuff like what does the computer contain
a simple basics of working of a machine etc. He showed us some of his games.
Although there primitivity, it was interesting to see such a stuff cause of it was
something you can create from the useless machine something great cause it's yours.
I learned a little BASIC for which my friend helped me a lot. At the same time we learned
a Turbo Pascal at school but we were doing just a boring stuff so pascal looked
useless to me. My friend was involved into informatical championships and was a
really good for his age so he started explaining me about how to program
optimal, how should the code look good and to be nice for reading from other people.
I went to a informatic championship and get a 2nd place this was amazing.
It was a luck. For one of the first times in my life i felt happy from
that i've done... Then after a year or two. Something happened we discovered
the real life .. music cigarettes alcohol. And more especially music,
the Metal style in music. It was cool it was passing well with our conditions
and our ex-computer geeked minds;]. A little of time since that happened i've
got my new intel 166mhz box it was astonishing the new games were working well etc.
i've played half a year all the time then we've become a music maniacs and stopped using
computers and started to go out with other metal fans. We got our first girls.
That was almost everything we could think of at that time. There were a smart ppl around
most of the hardcore and metal fans were hidden geeks interested in strange things
and we were too ... The live music that some local groups like Alegoria was making
was a bit of culmination and being on a concerts was really "killing".
Then after maybe a 1 year or 2. My friend got changed himself, all he was thinking was
sex girls alcohol the music went on a backstage. He started changing his way of
dressing so the girls would like him more cause most of them dislike the metal culture,
Started going out to discoteques and i stopped go out with him cause i was still
a metal fan from inside and still i am. I needed something new to fix the emptyness from our friendship.
That thing were the computers again. I remembered my old passion and started
seriously to develop my knowledge. I heard of linux and put redhat 6.0 on my box.
And started experimenting with the shit it worked well although the gui was full of bugs especially
the gnome was core dumping like hell. I was interested into linux because it was free of charge and people
said that it is the truth OS cause it is stable, the stability comes with it cryptic
structure, cryptic cause i haven't saw a different conception for OS from DOS or windows.
First i've experimented with a DOS commands on the linux box. some of them were working.
I heard about a people who hate publicity and love to interact with machines and show
their personalities in a strange way. That inprisoned my mind i wanted to be one of these
guys and linux was the perfect circle between hacking computer advancing and
selfdevelopment. Linux was rare too and not enough observed and i stuck seriously for all that.
The idea i can use the net under linux does obsess me. And i started reading all the time
with the idea i can use net under a different OS i wanted to run an irc bot cause
the artificial intelligent was always attractive to me. But there was a problem.
And the problem was that my machine have hware most of which is integrated
and there are less drivers for integrated devices under linux.
There was a conflicts between the modem and the mouse so the modem didn't initializes
properly my soundcard worked just with midis the mp3s does core dumped the mp3 player.
the graphic enviroument looks ugly. But that didn't stopped me and i continued learning
the OS playing with it on localhost. reading manuals info pages etc.
One day i've got a lan card and stick for one of the local ISPs. After a less than month i've already
have the knowledge to run my box under linux so i did that it was redhat 7.1.
net under linux was much more fun there was a tons of thing to learn about a stuff to
explore. After a few months i get addicted. I advanced myself at first very fastly
then continued to read for the problems i've already solved sinking deeper into them.
Learning compiling text editors base commands...etc. At the same time although i wanted
to learn computer science but that didn't happened. This happens somewhere at the end of the year 2000.
I was already in a university studying a thing i didn't have idea of because
i've got bad results on my candidate student exams and that was all because i was
spending all my time in listening music drinking and not putting enough effort on maths
Actually i never was a fan of math it is a sort of science that is too straight forward and not enough abstract for meself.
and which i've hated when i was in a high school due to a math techer who hated me. The sad thing in the story was that in bulgaria
things are made in such a shitty way so if you are good at something you don't have much an
opportunities to advance yourself at that for it nomatter that you can be genius at it ( sad ).
In my lifetime i've many unhappy loves with girls. I almost always does fell in love
with them then something just goes wrong and they don't like me anymore then i
depress myself and all i do is stay infront of the comp reading and hacking all the time
till my feelings come to /dev/null.
Talking about hacking since the last 2 and a half years hacking was a sort of religion
to me i do hack in all meanings it is possible you know, you can hack your food too?!:]
From around a year and a half i'm keen on VMS especially OpenVMS it is freely available
under the hobbyist license. VMS is a DEC's ex-OS which is one of the 7 OSes loved by
hackers VMS is not unix/windows/dos/bsd etc. So it historical Value is uniq.
Under VMS your data could be really secure and you can sleep well hackers is not much of a point there.
It's one of the most secure OSes in the world. If interested check out
http://deathrow.vistech.net where you can read how to get a freely available
OpenVMS account. Talking about computers again i must say that i want to develop
myself in the sphere of computer clustering and computer security. Computer security
is one of my favourite part of computers at all ( Ya know faking a MTF box is cool! ).
Stuff like VxWorks / PDPs and Primus does absolutely inspire me.
Exploring such a barracks is like exploring the future from the past ...
I've got many interest much of them are in: phylosophy,psychology,physics,history,
literature. I've always wanted to have a group of people with which we can advance
in a tribal way and help each other. As talking of trible i'm a big fan of the indean dances
and culture. If i've got a choice i'll probably move to brazil in a some rain forests, or other forgotten by god place
People there are much natural ( primitive ) which i adore and respect.
The respect is the key in human friendship. So we gotta respect each other.
By the way i'm a very very keen on Doom 2 this is MTF cult for me. So D00m The Planet!
I think that you don't need to be a genius to be a good man. But a minddeveloping is
one of the things that are important cause on that thing depends our way of life ,future
culture religion etcetera. It's a thing we shall stuck for cause we exist about all that.
I hate people that just spent there time and did nothing. ( too sad most of the ppl
did that ). I like to help to ppl nomatter what kind of ppl we are talking about, but if i see that
the man/women is a desperate case then i drop all connections with her/him and give em a finger.
The time goes and nothing changes except my mind doesn't assimilate information well anymore
at last it is overflowed of all that stuff that happened to me and all that stuff
i've learned and learning. Currently i'm studying a "stock knowledge" in the
Economical University in Varna and working as a sysadmin at design.bg.
( BTW I hate Designers They make me sick ! and have brain less than a farmer's !)
Yep farmers are smart;] Don't you know.?!:]
I hate people who yell and scream ( ppl who can't express themself in a normal way like
my mom ), hate snobs too. Love to go to the cemeteries ( especially after midnight -
you can't find such a solitude anywhere but there. ).
Like drinking wine in a forests or natural places. Anyway i dislike most of the alcohol at all.
Except wine, vodka and beer. I do smoke but hate smoking at all it makes me sick
i smoke cause i don't have a nice thing to do to loose my time ...
P.S. Groups listed are not in order in which i most like 'em :]